It has been awhile since I have actually felt like myself.
Seems as though I have been taking some detours.
It feels good to be back on what feels like to be the right road.
Crazy, I don't know how it happened, one day you look at your life and think "how did I get here"
Thankfully, there is forgiveness and his mercies are new to me each day.
One day at a time and I am making my way back the that familiar place in my father's arms.
Where when I am happy I rejoice, when I am being tested I can rejoice because He tells me to consider it pure joy to be tested for it is then that I am learning to persevere.
Back to where my glass if half full.
When faced with a situation or a heartache or a burden that I run to Him because there is no other answer.
He already knows I need Him and what is on my mind. How great is that, that I can come to Him and when I can't find the words He already knows.
Life is good, no matter how bad I tend to think it is at a particular moment. It could always be worse. Even though things may not be just as I had hoped I know that He has plans for me and until He opens the next door I will wait patiently and be content.
I have been reading the Karen Kingsbury series, and I love them, they have made me laugh, cry, think and pray. I feel like they are what has brought me back to this place. I will be sad to finish up this last series.
“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
Delicious Ambiguity.”
― Gilda Radner
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
"Be the bigger person"
"Be the bigger person"
This is a phrase I have been becoming all too familiar with. So much so, that I hear it and I want to scream. I am so stinking tired of being the bigger or better person, however you want to phrase it.....
and then with a huge sigh I come to my senses and know that being the bigger person means being the example that He expects and wants me to be. I know he wants this of me and so I shake it off and prepare for another day of nonsense.
Sometimes, I think what in the world is going on!? I can't do this, this is crazy....but then I am reminded that He has overcome the world and this little "thing" that I am going through right now is nothing compared to what He went through. I know He doesn't give me anything I can't handle and because He believes in me, I can believe in myself. Sometimes standing up for what you know is right and what you believe in causes trouble in this world. I will never back down on something I believe to be truth. Day after day I am learning and being shaped, and for that I am thankful.
So, to those that hold grudges and refuse to speak, to the ones with the looks of disgust and anger, I say this to you. You are only harming yourself, the longer you hold a grudge is just your time wasted. Cause let's face it, I'm the one with a smile on my face. Grow up, let's be adults.
This is a phrase I have been becoming all too familiar with. So much so, that I hear it and I want to scream. I am so stinking tired of being the bigger or better person, however you want to phrase it.....
and then with a huge sigh I come to my senses and know that being the bigger person means being the example that He expects and wants me to be. I know he wants this of me and so I shake it off and prepare for another day of nonsense.
Sometimes, I think what in the world is going on!? I can't do this, this is crazy....but then I am reminded that He has overcome the world and this little "thing" that I am going through right now is nothing compared to what He went through. I know He doesn't give me anything I can't handle and because He believes in me, I can believe in myself. Sometimes standing up for what you know is right and what you believe in causes trouble in this world. I will never back down on something I believe to be truth. Day after day I am learning and being shaped, and for that I am thankful.
So, to those that hold grudges and refuse to speak, to the ones with the looks of disgust and anger, I say this to you. You are only harming yourself, the longer you hold a grudge is just your time wasted. Cause let's face it, I'm the one with a smile on my face. Grow up, let's be adults.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Hang in there...
Reasons. Seasons. Lifetime.
This is one of my favorite sayings, only because it rings so true.
In this past year, I have learned and experienced each of these.
Mostly I have learned more from the heartache that nothing is promised. Words can only mean so much. People change, they change their minds and they move on. Even though we have the best intentions and make promises; we don't know what our future holds.
We try and fight it when it doesn't go the way it is supposed to.
But the sooner we give into the fact that what was happening was for a reason the better off we are.
No sense in fighting something you have no control over.
It may seem like you're giving up, but I don't think so.
I think it is about acceptance and learning to let go.
Sometimes, God takes us places on our adventure that we don't have planned out.
I find that I am in a season of uncertainty.
Nothing really seems like it is in stone.
There are plenty of changes happening.
Too many feelings of discontent and worry.
But I know that this is only a part of the story.
Only a minimal detail in the bigger picture.
Lifetime... may be a long time or maybe too short.
We never know how long a lifetime actually is.
We can only hope for a long life filled with love and laughter surrounded by family and friends.
I have found a few people that I know deep in my heart that are my lifetime.
No matter where I go or what I do, or where they do and whatever they do.
They will always be there for me and likewise.
I love them and can't imagine my life without them.
This is what makes all the reason and seasons worth it.
Living life with those that have come through it all with you for your lifetime.
Life is too short to be anything but happy.
It is hard to find the joy in everything,
Hold fast to this:
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
This is one of my favorite sayings, only because it rings so true.
In this past year, I have learned and experienced each of these.
Mostly I have learned more from the heartache that nothing is promised. Words can only mean so much. People change, they change their minds and they move on. Even though we have the best intentions and make promises; we don't know what our future holds.
We try and fight it when it doesn't go the way it is supposed to.
But the sooner we give into the fact that what was happening was for a reason the better off we are.
No sense in fighting something you have no control over.
It may seem like you're giving up, but I don't think so.
I think it is about acceptance and learning to let go.
Sometimes, God takes us places on our adventure that we don't have planned out.
I find that I am in a season of uncertainty.
Nothing really seems like it is in stone.
There are plenty of changes happening.
Too many feelings of discontent and worry.
But I know that this is only a part of the story.
Only a minimal detail in the bigger picture.
Lifetime... may be a long time or maybe too short.
We never know how long a lifetime actually is.
We can only hope for a long life filled with love and laughter surrounded by family and friends.
I have found a few people that I know deep in my heart that are my lifetime.
No matter where I go or what I do, or where they do and whatever they do.
They will always be there for me and likewise.
I love them and can't imagine my life without them.
This is what makes all the reason and seasons worth it.
Living life with those that have come through it all with you for your lifetime.
Life is too short to be anything but happy.
It is hard to find the joy in everything,
Hold fast to this:
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Monday, March 5, 2012
Times of change
So many things are changing in my life. From friends, to family, to my job and etc...
I am not sure there is not one thing that isn't changing. I am forever changing.
Being 26 is hard. I am in this no mans land of (as my mam puts it) single, and childless, and need to find friends that I can identify with. I hate risks. I know hate is a strong word but I do, I loathe it. Just thinking about it makes my heart beat a little faster and I can feel my face start to flush. I think however, that unless I do something about this situation I am in, nothing is going to change. If my desire to change is not stronger than my desire not to take risks I am afraid I am here to stay.
I recently and by recently I mean today, was my first real day at my new "position" as a full time scheduler. Your job takes up about as much as sleep takes up in your life, and they say that you should do something you love. Do I love my job? Probably not, but I do love some of the people I get to work with. I have met some of the most amazing people. Some, I can't imagine not being in my life. For that I can smile. I work with my Mam, who saves me on almost a daily basis with a hug, the words " I love you" and whatever other encouraging things I need to hear. Everywhere you go there are going to be those people that try to suck every inch of life out of you...if you let them. I am learning.
I have been experiencing the birth and death of friendships lately. I am finding out how far I will go for someone that I care about and just how far they go for me in return. I am learning that betrayal happens, and that I need to guard my heart. I've been hurt a lot lately, but I know that this is all apart of life and I am learning. People come and go, and I love the saying that they were in your life for a reason, season or a lifetime; just as you were in their life for the same.
Each day I am stronger, smarter, and a little less sensitive to what this world has to say about who and what I need to be. God is good.
One day at a time, press on my friends. This is only temporary.
I am not sure there is not one thing that isn't changing. I am forever changing.
Being 26 is hard. I am in this no mans land of (as my mam puts it) single, and childless, and need to find friends that I can identify with. I hate risks. I know hate is a strong word but I do, I loathe it. Just thinking about it makes my heart beat a little faster and I can feel my face start to flush. I think however, that unless I do something about this situation I am in, nothing is going to change. If my desire to change is not stronger than my desire not to take risks I am afraid I am here to stay.
I recently and by recently I mean today, was my first real day at my new "position" as a full time scheduler. Your job takes up about as much as sleep takes up in your life, and they say that you should do something you love. Do I love my job? Probably not, but I do love some of the people I get to work with. I have met some of the most amazing people. Some, I can't imagine not being in my life. For that I can smile. I work with my Mam, who saves me on almost a daily basis with a hug, the words " I love you" and whatever other encouraging things I need to hear. Everywhere you go there are going to be those people that try to suck every inch of life out of you...if you let them. I am learning.
I have been experiencing the birth and death of friendships lately. I am finding out how far I will go for someone that I care about and just how far they go for me in return. I am learning that betrayal happens, and that I need to guard my heart. I've been hurt a lot lately, but I know that this is all apart of life and I am learning. People come and go, and I love the saying that they were in your life for a reason, season or a lifetime; just as you were in their life for the same.
Each day I am stronger, smarter, and a little less sensitive to what this world has to say about who and what I need to be. God is good.
One day at a time, press on my friends. This is only temporary.
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