I've been very behind...

Well I haven't had much time to blog...and haven't really had the motivation either but I have some time today so I figured I would play a quick catch up.

My aunts Jolene and Lanny came to visit me for a couple weeks as a surprise for my dads 50th birthday. It was great, he was surprised and we had a great time just hanging out and enjoying the time together. We had some fun times at the coast as always. But, 2 weeks came fast and they headed back to Kansas. =( Im iss them so much and could have wished I could have came back to visit my grandma. This will be 2 years since I have seen her and she is turning 80 this year.

After heading home from the airport my dad tells me that he's thinking about sending me to Kansas to surprise my grandma on her birthday...I couldn't have been more excited! Everything worked out and 2 weeks later( right now) I sit at my aunts house in Kansas. =) I can't wait. We are throwing her a surprise party on Sunday.

Now to back track just a little. My flight out of portland left at 8:55...and you are supposed to be there a couple hours early. Which meant for us that we had to leave the house no later than 4 in the morning... Yikes! I was up at 3:30 and by 4 we headed out. Everything went fine and we made it to the airport, the lines were long so there wasn't much time to hang out with my dad so we hugged and said goodbye... I am horrible with goodbye's and even got teary eyed saying goodbye to him. Anyways, I made it through security and all that and found my gate...everything was on time. I made it to the Denver airport at 12 their time, with my next flight scheduled to leave at 2:30...well just as we were supposed to start boarding the announced it had been delayed an hour...then not to long after that they informed us that it was canceled! Ugh! I am not a happy camper by now. I had a headache and was not in the mood to continue to sit in the airport. They put me on another flight and this one left at 6:55...that's 7 hours that I had been waiting in the airport...I was just praying this flight actually left! The airline felt bad and gave me a food voucher so I didn't have to pay for my dinner...so that was nice.

We boarded and off we went. It was one of those little planes...not a big fan of that. They are ridiculously loud but atlast I made it! With my aunt there to greet me. =) It was so nice to see her again.

We got my luggage and headed to the house. She walked in and I followed and my other aunt(lanny) didn't even notice. I sat down on the couch before she over knew it was me. At that point she started laughing and was like how'd you get here!? Where Jo and I started laughing and teasing that she drove out to Oregon to get me in 20 minutes. To where she replied "oh you flew!" She was very surprised and it was nice to see her reaction. I can't wait to see the rest of the family and their faces. =)

So for now I'm just hanging out with the dog(willie.)

I'll keep you all updated.

=)

...

Sometimes all it takes is a song
And it takes me back to a place
Sometimes a place I never wanted to go
And it makes me question many things.
Sometimes to a moment I would like to relive every day
And you just really never know.

What I am learning though is that you just have to be able to take one day at a time.
Tomorrow may never come so why stress about it today.
I will make it through this day and I'll take "tomorrow" when it comes.


***********************************************************************************
I've been very much behind in my updating.

I had family visiting for a couple weeks as a surprise to my dad for his 50th birthday.
The family time was great! I had really been missing them.
And if things work out I will be headed back there in a couple weeks to surprise my grandma for her 80th birthday which I am very much looking forward to. I haven' t seen them for almost 2 years. So, I think it's about time. =)

I've been living on the wrong side of memphis....

No, the title has absolutley nothing to do with anything but it was the last thing I heard on the t.v. =)

Haven't blogged in awhile...I guess just been too busy.
I have family coming in on wednesday for a surprise visit for my dads 50th birthday. So, I have stayed quite busy planning on their arrival, and a party, along with work. So, my apologies that I haven't kept up blogging.

I haven't been up to a whole lot...went to portland a few weeks ago which was nice to meet up with the gang. It doesn't happen very often.
Been working which is nice, better than doing nothing.
I've been doing lots of cleaning, it's easy to get behind...so I have stayed busy.

Down to 2 days until my aunts get here...I am very very excited, can't wait to see my dads face.

Anyways, I am off for now, I will keep you all updated with their arrival and such.

just stuff.

just writing to write,
A lot of things on my mind,
So most of this is a lot of things,
All rolled up into one,
No one specific in mind,
but prayers for all this applies to,
yes, even me.
************************************************************************************


I wish I could tell you all the things I have on my mind.
I know things about you I wish I didn't.
All in a moments time everything has changed.
I wonder who you've become.
Where is the you I once knew.

Time changes people.
Swords are drawn.
Wedges amongst us now.

It seems as though all the important people in my life disappoint me.
Which I know is human, it's just hard to look at them the same.
They will always hold that place in my life but things just change.
I wonder why it is, that we can't let go of peoples mistakes.
Why, everytime we look at them we see the wrong they did.

No wonder people hate to admit they messed up
That they are imperfect
Because they receive the same judging eye from those that are supposed to love them the most.
No wonder a worldly friend is easier to forgive past transgressions.

Should be the other way around.
Sad that it isn't.
Since we are going to be judged in the end by the only one that matters.
Why do we feel the need to tell everyone else what they are doing wrong.
Let's have a reality check of our own lives.
Let's be accountable to ALL of our actions.

Sometimes we find ourselves wrapped up in something that seems harmless but in the end causes the worst pain.
We like it so much, and like an addiction we feel the high of it all and don't worry about the outcome it will bring.
And like addiction, we are always hurting someone. Whether our friends, family, spouse, and most importantly God.
It's not always easy to let go of these things in our life...but it is always the best when we do.


I've just had a lot of thoughts lately...needed to get them out...

Todays thoughts.

Prayers shouted out like a last request
Begging, pleading, making deals
Tears falling from her cheeks
No light at the end, no hope seems near.

All you want it change,
All you seem to ever need
Nothing comes, day after day, nothing
Harder and harder to keep yourself together

Is this what faith is all about
This feeling of despair
Nothing ever good enough
Never reaching success

I guess it’s all in your outlook
When you stop thinking for yourself
Letting go of your own ideas
Surrender and retreat

No matter how fast you run
How far you go
He’s there
You can’t escape it

You know even in your darkest of moments
And worst despair
That He hasn’t turned His back on you
And never will

So find that glimmer of light
And hold on tight
Cause no matter how long it takes
You’ll get there

Trust Him
Love Him
Obey Him
Glorify Him

That’s all there is to it.

just writing cause it's what I love to do.

Times like this make me remember.
The good times
The bad times
Times in between the madness.

Where the words used to spill out without coaxing.
Where the meaning behind them all, was clear.
Where the truth was.

Past
Present
Future

A new memory each day, where it overlaps another and helps heal the pain.
Where it doesn't take as much effort to wear the smile.
And to know he loves you...unconditionally.

Everything happens for a reason.

Trust Him
He always knows what He's doing.
And with that, I know I am always in good hands.
It's usually when I try to get involved, is when things start to go wrong.

Each day a brand new day.
Take it and be thankful for another day.
To be able to live and love and be free.

God is good!

What I thought...

What I thought was reality, was only a dream
What I thought I had together, was falling apart
What I thought was the truth was nothing but lies
What I thought I couldn’t achieve, was at my fingertips
What I thought would never happen, I call my life
What I thought couldn’t get worse, was never the worst
What I thought was the best for me, God knew better

In the stillness
In the quiet
In the solace
In the hush
I hear Your voice
I feel Your presence
I trust Your will
I need Your strength

no title.

Heart beats faster
Breaths become fast and shallow
Throat feels like it's closing
Stomach turning in knots
Tears form in eyes
Thoughts race through the mind

and for a moment you just might regret it.

Heart calms
Throat opens
Breaths calm
Stomach loosens
Eyes clear
Mind reassures

and just like that, you come to your senses.

.......

ONE

One chance

One shot

One try

One time

One voice

One life

One thought

One choice

One place

One reason

One season

One lifetime

just wanderings of my mind.

I just think she's real cute...and she was sitting in my shoe.

I seem to care

but I wish I didn't

I always answer

but I wish I didn't

I tell you all

but I wish I didn't

I always come back

but I wish I didn't

Facing reality...again.

I keep coming to the same conclusion...

Whether the right person reads this or not it won't matter.
Because I will never be able to tell them this anyways.
That I feel like our friendship is disposable to them.
That if we were really friends I would matter.
That if what we said to each other is how we acted, things would be different.
It might sound petty, but it's how I feel.
How I keep feeling.
Disappointed, cause I liked the way things used to be.
Sad, cause things keep changing.
I don't know you anymore.
Just a memory now.

I used to think this friendship would last...apparently I was the only one.
You have your life and I have mine.
They don't fit into each other's anymore...
And with that, I face the reality...again.
Your friendship wasn't meant to last a lifetime...just for a reason, and a season.
Was nice knowing you.
Maybe I'll see you around...someday....

I've been bejewled!

Ha, well not really but I am addicted. I am on level 38 I believe and really can't stop playing. Which I suppose is alright because I have nothing better to do. Still not working. But God is good and we will have a roof to start pretty soon. =)

So other than A LOT of doing nothing and sitting at home I have been on a couple adventures.

To start out there have been a few trips to the creek the my siSTAR(lyns) that have not been dull at all. =) I'll post pics at the end.

And, for memorial day my dad and I, along with some friends went to the coast and rode on the dunes. It was lots of fun...ate some sand and had a good time. Didn't take too many pics of that but I got some.

Other than that nothing else going on...I'll post again if anything worth reading happens. =)

So here are some pics... I think you can figure out what is what. =)

worry.

A new today.
A new tomorrow.
Yesterday is in the past.
"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself"
I'm trying to remember this.

I've been missing family a lot lately.
I've been talking one of my aunts in Kansas everyday for like the past month via messenger... it has been real nice...but also makes me miss them more than ever.
Today we were talking about how the economy sucks and that if things don't pick up my dad would possibly consider moving back there because the cost of living is less than here. Besides being with all the family. Scary...cause as much as I want to see them I don't want it to come down to having to move because we can't make it here. So, I'm stressing...too much other stuff going on. Praying the lawyers figure something out that is beneficial for my dad this time. I just wish all this was over already!
Anyways, just felt like venting...I know God is in control and whatever happens, happens...but still scary! I very well could be over thinking it all. I shouldn't worry until if the day actually comes...and even then I gotta give it to God.
Well anyway...just blabbering on...
Not sleepy yet so I thought I would blog something.

weekend/mother's day/volleyball.

This weekend was full of fun and some chaos...but the good kind.

I left friday afternoon and picked up Lyns at school and headed to her house. We left for Corvallis/Albany. Lyns was playing volleyball at the OSU campus on saturday and sunday.
We made it to Albany pretty early and waited for Candi and the kids to get down. Then went to dinner and just hung out. We got to bed about 10, which was good cause we had to be at the campus at 7... The first night was interesting, didn't get much sleep, but was wide awake at 5:30. The girls started off rocky but seemed to get together in the next game. They had a few hours in between playing so I got the chance to meet up with Angela my friend since grade school and catch up. It was nice to see her and swap stories.

So after that they played again and let's just say they didn't play as hard and as good as they know how. After that it was time to head back to the hotel...and we took the scenic route. =) Aka...we were lost. Jeff however "knew exactly where we were" and we made it back to the right route in no time. So from not getting much sleep I was pretty tired and Lyns had a long day playing we fell asleep for awhile. Then headed to dinner. Dinner was quite entertaining... lots of funny things going on. Then headed back to the campus to watch the OSU girls play against WOU, thye beat them all 3 games. By the time that was over we were all sleepy. Nana and papa had made it up while we were at the game. It had been a long day. So when we got back to the hotel Lyns, Chels, and I all took our showers and headed to bed...but unlike the parents we didn't fall asleep as fast. I gave Lyns a hand massage and we giggled and talked for a while and then decided we better get some sleep. We all slept much better that night...and she stayed in her side of the bed. =) ha.

Sunday was of course Mother's Day so we all had cards and gifts for the Mam. =) It was a good day. The girls played MUCH better. It was a good day of playing but we didn't get to stick around for very long. So after it was all done we said our goodbye's to nana and papa and to Candi and the kids. and waited for Lyns to finish reffing(sp). I fell asleep in the car waiting for them. Well when they were done Lyns decided to stay with her boy to watch his sister play so the rest of us headed home. I think Chels and I slept most of the way home. It was a good day, a good weekend.

=)

i am my father's daughter.

This is just something I am working on for my dad...still needs some work...
Haven't decided if it will be something for Father's Day or for his 50th birthday.
Let me know what you think...



To you, he might just be a familiar face.
An aquaintance you aknowledge with a nod.
A friend you welcome with a smile.
Maybe you've never met him.

Perhaps he has helped you out in some way.
By doing his job or being a friend
You've made memories with him,
and you've lived life with him.

Most know him by his sense of humor and awnry side
And wouldn't want it any other way "bossman"
A priveledge to know him? I'd say yes!
Who doesn't want someone like that around.

For me it's just different.
A new memory each day
Mistakes are made and lessons are learned.
An encouraging word when needed.

You don't see the same man I do
I get to see all the sides
Everything that makes him who he is
Things that you may never get to see.

He's not just a familiar face
Not an aquaintance
Not just a long time friend
He's my father, my friend, my hero.

He's everything in a person I'd like to be
The sense of humor to the tender side.
I smile because I know I am my father's daughter
And I wouldn't want it any other way.

Re-Connect...spring retreat

So just a couple pictures from the retreat.

The theme of the trip was "Re-connect" not only with each other but with God. Along with all the study time we had some great bonding time during the team competition time. There weren't enough kids that a couple leaders had to fill in...me being one of them. My team was named

T-trenton
E-eric
A-abby
M-melia

J-jessica
A-amanda
C-christopher

We really worked together great and pretty much dominated all the games.

Everyone got a long great and had a blast.

The last night we played capture the flag in the dark and had a couple issues. The first being that my team won the first game so a few kids felt the need to complain about it...then on the other team quin and abby were gaurding their flag and a strange guy came up to them and was talking to them. Keep in mind it is dark and late outside. Then during the second game most of my team mates including me were in jail and with all the comotion on our side of the field christopher decided to come and save us...well he was sprinting as fast as he could and seth being on the opposite team was trying to stop him. I was out of the jail enough with my hand out to be saved that my leg was in the middle of them as they collided into each other. And to make this already long story shorter, seth ended up with a swollen nose, we think a minor concussion, and found out today that he broke his nose. Christopher ended up with the right side of his face swollen and a black eye. Other than that ordeal everything was great and everyone had a great time.

We played a game of ultimate frisbee and kick ball, and somehow I ended up on the ground during frisbee and had grass stains on my knees. Abby was on my team and if you know her, you know she doesn't really say much, so it was fun to get to know her and get her to laugh and smile with me. I kept telling everyone that she was the one that pushed me down. Obviously not true but she would get a big grin on her face and would laugh.

Lots more happend but I don't really want to sit here for hours typing...but you got the high lights of the trip. =)

God is good!

4 Wheelin Fun!

Time to catch up.....

EASTER SUNDAY
After church me and dad went up the mountain....

I forget what this flower is called but I learned that it only blooms every 7 years. We came across it Easter Sunday...I thought it was awfully pretty. God is good!

A HUGE muddy puddle...that thankfully there was a way around.

More ruts and stuff in the trail.

SATURDAY

Ok so saturday I went up the mountain around 6 with Rob and Tammy... they ride 4 wheelers...so we thought it was a nice evening for a ride. My dad was gone so I went by myself. I surprised myself with how well I did in some of the places we went. It was crazy but fun!


This is NaNook...I think is how you spell it. It means great or big bear in eskimo I guess. He belongs to Tammy's son and they were dog sitting so he got to ride with me. The sunset from up top the mountain. =)

We were up there until after dark...it was nice to see such a beautiful sunset.

SUNDAY

This Sunday after church Ron and his grandkids came out for a quick ride up the mountain...so just a coupke pics of them. Zach looks awfully cute in his helmet.

Hailey and Korrin

Ron and Zach

After they left my dad and I went to work around the house, the weather was so nice so we took advantage of it. Moved a bunch of stuff around and cleaned things out. Did some work with the excavator...so after all that we were just sitting around when Rob and Tammy showed up with their 4 wheelers and wanted us to go up with them. We sat for awhile and I got just a little too much sun. I'm still red. So then we headed up the mountain. Most of the same stuff that I did went I went before but still fun. My dad had been driving so when I thought all the crazy stuff was over I took over. Well I thought wrong!!!! We got into a couple insane situations that I wouldn't want to have to drive in again but I did real good and didn't flip it over or run into anything so that was good. We all survived. So here are just a couple pics of them standing around.

Here is Tammy...she was alright with me taking the first picture but after a couple she told me she was the one that takes the pictures.

Here she is pointing at herself giving me the spiel...ha. This would be my dad after finally making it up one of the hills.

Happy Ressurection Day!

Happy Easter!

Went to church this morning, it was great! The service was packed and everything was great!
After church I headed to the grocery store to get something to fix my dad for lunch.
Came home and ate then headed up the mountain.
It was fun, the wond was pretty cold but other than that it was lots of fun. We played in the mud for awhile and then headed home. Once we got home something was said about keys, and my dad realized that he didn't have his truck keys anymore. So after a quick run in the house and fill up the rhino we were off again. Back up the mountian we went in search for the lost keys. I was just praying that we found them, it wouldn't have been a very good way to end the day. It only took about 10 minutes or so to find them. I spotted them in the dirt. Thankfully! God is good!
Now we are doing a video call on the computer with my family in Kansas. A good day!

Hope everyone else had a blessed day!

A new light.

For awhile now I have been in this weird funk.
I have had some mixed feelings about so many things and haven't really been sure how to work it all out.

I have felt like I have lost so many people in my life lately. Friends of course come and go. We change and move on but they are still going to be our friends. We can still count on them when it all comes down to it. It's the way life goes and people change and move on. I however have felt like I am stuck in the same place and everyone else has passed me.

So it's on to making changes and taking my life back. Here's to taking chances, broadening my horizons and moving on.

So, "thanks" to my original "FRIEND" for challenging me yet again and helping me to see a different light. Even though so many things have changed, you're still there with an encouraging word.

I used to know....

I used to know you
But you went away.
I used to know you
But everything changed.

I used to know you.

We used to be friends
But you went away.
We used to be friends
But everything changed.

I used to know you.

I thought I knew you
But you went away.
I thought I knew you
But everything changed.

I used to know you.




I used to know you...
but everything's different now.
But I can't say I am sorry about it.
You chose your path.
It is, what it is.
Not even gonna worry about it anymore.

Update on my boring life.

Well I haven't blogged in quite some time.
Nothing really going on. We finished working in Springfield thankfully on Friday. I am so relieved that there will be no more commute. The days seem so long when when you have to drive so far.

Today was a beautiful day! I got to open up the doors and windows. It was very refreshing. I'm looking forward to the warmer weather.

Other than that nothing going on with me. Things have been pretty boring.

I'll update if something exciting happens.

just words.

I hadn't blogged in awhile...and hadn't sat down and wrote anything either... sometimes things just come out of no where.




A name is said
A memory appears.

A picture found
A thought whispered.

A song played
A tear shed.

A memory made
A longing appears.


Time passes and you forget a little more.
About the hurt you felt when it all disappeared.

There are good days and bad.
Hopefully the good overcome the bad.

New people come into your life.
The void is semi-filled.

But there is always the want for what you had.
Even though you wanted it more than she did.

You ask yourself why and how.
Questions that won't ever be answerd.

So you push it aside and try to forget.
Cause there's no point in wondering what if.

update on my boring life.

I'd like to go to the beach....

Well not much has been happening...hence the reason I haven't blogged.

I've been doing lots of nothing in the last couple weeks...and as much as I don't like the commute to springfield it will be nice to get back to work. So for the next couple weeks I'll be working in the mill...and as weird as that sounds I am pretty excited...even though that means back toearly mornings, late nights, ear plugs and safety vests and safety goggles as I like to call them.

Ball up...

Another weekend of Volleyball...and a double since it was siSTARs birthday. She turned 16.

Here is Lynsey and Lynsey posing with their tooshs' out.

I didn't get any pics of her at dinner...which was alright cause they were a bit camera shy. It was a good day.

It was Lynsey's birthday and they gave me flowers. It was really nice...and they were way pretty!

Power out.

Well the other night I was typing away at my computer and the power surged a couple of times and it was out. So, thankfully my dad had a kerosine lamp we lit and decided we had nothing else better to do so we sat around playing Skip-bo until about midnight. It was nice. We don;t normally just sit around and chat about random things...so it was quite nice.


Here is me and the cat (lilly) waiting for my dad to finish his turn.

The lamp

My dad playing.

My drink of choice. Chocolate Milk

And candy of choice. =) =) =)

The power didn't come back on until like 3:30 in the morning so I got to get up then and turn the lights and t.v. off that came back on.

lots of thoughts lately...

So I have been doing a lot of thinking lately.

Why in my life I have always had to be the bigger person and apologize first.
Why I am always finding myself in situations that I put myself out there to make it better and it comes back to bite me.
To be honest I am really tired of doing the "right" thing. It may be the right thing to do but my heart really wasn't into it. I know it sounds bad right?

Besides all that, 6 months is tomorrow...which is just a weird feeling... NO regrets what so ever...just a weird feeling.

Friends...well...they come and go...and I can't do anything about it.

Life and work...well that is just a crazy stressful thing right now.

Anyway, just getting it all out there I guess...
no worries.

Another Volleyball Weekend. =)

Well, I am behind in my blogging but here are some pics and a couple videos from last weekend. We went to Crater to play some volleyball. We spent quite a bit of time at the truck stop waiting for Jeff to come back so we could go back to the game. We ran into someone from church that needed some help so that's what we did. Long story short, we waited at the truck stop played games, laughed, made people look at us funny...all good things. =)


This is me and nana playing a clapping game. Here is Nana trying to smile and keep her eyes open so I could take a picture.

Chels being goofy!

MAM! =) She's so cute!

So here is just a bit of Lyns playing.

And here is Nana and Chels playing the clapping game. At the end she's real cute and says "Oh I messed up" Ha.

While I'm at it...

I'd like to introduce you to mr or mrs catepillar. I don't know which. Ha!
My dad found this outside and brought it in to show me.Everything deserves a name so I call it...Harold if it is a boy and Etta if it's a girl.
you decide. =) It was interesting.

Let's play ball...

Volleyball that is. =)


Not this last weekend but the weekend before I was able to travel with the family up to Albany to watch Lyns play volleyball. She played amazing!

On the way up I think...I caught him offgaurd. This is dribbler as we like to call him. Lynsey's boyfriend.

Well this was just kinda creepy cause it looks like she was frozen and time was rushing around her. Kinda trippy.
Here is a video of just one of the great hits she got.

=)

Happy day of my birth.

So I am WAY behind in my blogging lately. Sorry about that. Here are some pictures of my birthday dinner. My dad, Rick, Xavier, Nevaeh, Linda, Rusty, and I went to Carlos for dinner.


Here is me taking my own picture while I blow out the candle.
Rick and I on the way home.

My birthday cake that Linda got for me. It says Zippy that's what she calls me.

Nevaeh and I on the way home. I miss her!

This was like the millionth picture...he was not into it at all.

Linda and I =)

Rusty or Dusteeeeeee as I like to call him and I. =)

My dad and I =) =)

Rick and I.