Tuesday, July 21, 2009

just stuff.

just writing to write,
A lot of things on my mind,
So most of this is a lot of things,
All rolled up into one,
No one specific in mind,
but prayers for all this applies to,
yes, even me.
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I wish I could tell you all the things I have on my mind.
I know things about you I wish I didn't.
All in a moments time everything has changed.
I wonder who you've become.
Where is the you I once knew.

Time changes people.
Swords are drawn.
Wedges amongst us now.

It seems as though all the important people in my life disappoint me.
Which I know is human, it's just hard to look at them the same.
They will always hold that place in my life but things just change.
I wonder why it is, that we can't let go of peoples mistakes.
Why, everytime we look at them we see the wrong they did.

No wonder people hate to admit they messed up
That they are imperfect
Because they receive the same judging eye from those that are supposed to love them the most.
No wonder a worldly friend is easier to forgive past transgressions.

Should be the other way around.
Sad that it isn't.
Since we are going to be judged in the end by the only one that matters.
Why do we feel the need to tell everyone else what they are doing wrong.
Let's have a reality check of our own lives.
Let's be accountable to ALL of our actions.

Sometimes we find ourselves wrapped up in something that seems harmless but in the end causes the worst pain.
We like it so much, and like an addiction we feel the high of it all and don't worry about the outcome it will bring.
And like addiction, we are always hurting someone. Whether our friends, family, spouse, and most importantly God.
It's not always easy to let go of these things in our life...but it is always the best when we do.


I've just had a lot of thoughts lately...needed to get them out...

Friday, July 10, 2009

Todays thoughts.

Prayers shouted out like a last request
Begging, pleading, making deals
Tears falling from her cheeks
No light at the end, no hope seems near.

All you want it change,
All you seem to ever need
Nothing comes, day after day, nothing
Harder and harder to keep yourself together

Is this what faith is all about
This feeling of despair
Nothing ever good enough
Never reaching success

I guess it’s all in your outlook
When you stop thinking for yourself
Letting go of your own ideas
Surrender and retreat

No matter how fast you run
How far you go
He’s there
You can’t escape it

You know even in your darkest of moments
And worst despair
That He hasn’t turned His back on you
And never will

So find that glimmer of light
And hold on tight
Cause no matter how long it takes
You’ll get there

Trust Him
Love Him
Obey Him
Glorify Him

That’s all there is to it.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

just writing cause it's what I love to do.

Times like this make me remember.
The good times
The bad times
Times in between the madness.

Where the words used to spill out without coaxing.
Where the meaning behind them all, was clear.
Where the truth was.

Past
Present
Future

A new memory each day, where it overlaps another and helps heal the pain.
Where it doesn't take as much effort to wear the smile.
And to know he loves you...unconditionally.

Everything happens for a reason.

Trust Him
He always knows what He's doing.
And with that, I know I am always in good hands.
It's usually when I try to get involved, is when things start to go wrong.

Each day a brand new day.
Take it and be thankful for another day.
To be able to live and love and be free.

God is good!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

What I thought...

What I thought was reality, was only a dream
What I thought I had together, was falling apart
What I thought was the truth was nothing but lies
What I thought I couldn’t achieve, was at my fingertips
What I thought would never happen, I call my life
What I thought couldn’t get worse, was never the worst
What I thought was the best for me, God knew better




In the stillness
In the quiet
In the solace
In the hush
I hear Your voice
I feel Your presence
I trust Your will
I need Your strength

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

no title.

Heart beats faster
Breaths become fast and shallow
Throat feels like it's closing
Stomach turning in knots
Tears form in eyes
Thoughts race through the mind

and for a moment you just might regret it.

Heart calms
Throat opens
Breaths calm
Stomach loosens
Eyes clear
Mind reassures

and just like that, you come to your senses.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

.......

ONE
One chance
One shot
One try
One time
One voice
One life
One thought
One choice
One place
One reason
One season
One lifetime

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

just wanderings of my mind.

I just think she's real cute...and she was sitting in my shoe.


I seem to care


but I wish I didn't


I always answer


but I wish I didn't


I tell you all


but I wish I didn't


I always come back


but I wish I didn't