Got me a CHRISTmas tree. =)

Today =)

So today after church I was supposed to go get a CHRISTmas tree with ny dad. So, I took my little sister with me to buy a tree stand and some other CHRISTmas stuff. It was much fun!

Well when I got home it didn't look like we were going to end up going so I decided that I was going to take a nap. Well after awhile I heard the rhino start up so I knew I needed to get up. The weather was cold and foggy when we started off but not too bad. The higher we got the prettier it got. The view was amazing and everything was stunning. So I took LOTS of pictures and we got our CHRISTmas tree. So here are just a few of them.

This is what it looked like on our way up...

This is what it looked like up on top. All the white is fog.

My dad and our tree

Me and the tree...my dad is in the process of cutting it down.

Haulin it home.

My dad brought the chain saw IN the house and and cut the bottom of the tree.

just a couple pics

The pictures as promised.


This is before we got the table put together...sure would have been interesting eating like this.


Table put together and with the food. =)







The Turkey was AMAZING if I may say so.

We didn't take many other pics...nobody was cooperating and I got tired of it.

But, thanksgiving was good. Everything turned out great.

Happy Thanksgivin

Happy Thanksgiving.


I made my first thanksgiving dinner today.
It was real good. =)


Nothing real exciting...it was real good.
I'll post pics later.


Working tomorrow. =(

Why

Why is it that...

We love the ones who hurt us the most.

Trust the ones that abuse it.

Want so bad to be with the one that doesn't deserve us.

Cry still even after it's over.

Wonder what it would have been like it you were still together.
Think of them...when they have probably forgotten you.

It's a vicious cycle!

I've been taking lots of pictures of the sunsets lately...

God is good!

Put on a pot of coffee and let's chat.

Anybody ever feel like this? I do... HELP ME! Rescue me from all that is going on! Take me away. This is my cousins son... we call him X-man.

I drank a cup of coffee a few hours ago and well am certainly not ready to go to sleep yet.

I've got a heavy heart again...not sure what to do about it though...

I'm waiting for that moment when things just click and fall into place and everything makes sense again...I know I'll be waiting forever. =(

I go to sleep at night dreading waking up in the morning. What the day will bring...what harsh words. What lies I will hear. What pain I will see. What love is not returned. What struggle will be lost. All things I can't do anything about. It is driving me crazy!

I'll cry out again...but can He hear me! I'm desperate...when is it my turn for all to work out. I just want them all to be happy.

*Just randomness*

I'll cry out...but can anyone hear me.

I'll tell you...but is anyone listening.

I'll let it go...but does anyone care.

I'll fake it...but will anyone seek the truth.

I'll move on...but will anyone see.

**************************************

A wicked web you've weaved

A messed up bed you're gonna have to lay in.

A terrible place you've led yourself

One lie

Two lies

Three lies

Four...

You barely remember the truth.

Five lies

Six lies

Seven lies

Eight...

You've lost sight of any truth at all.

Nine lies

Ten lies

Eleven lies

Twelve...

The lies are now your life.

Thirteen lies

Fourteen lies

Fifteen lies

Sixteen...

It's all lies.

You are not who you were anymore.

Liar.

=(

Funny how in one moment you could lose all the trust it took years to build over one lie...one mistake, one.

How after that moment you are questioned about everything.

*************************************************************

Just my mind wandering...

I think I will head to bed.

Thanks for taking the time to read my rambling.

wrong...always wrong!

*BIG FAT HUGE SIGH*

I'm so tired...of everything! I can't seem to do anything right, say anything right, make the right faces, or just plain exist and it be right.
I'm sick and tired of it! I know I can't lose hope but I'm really struggling right now...with like every aspect of life it seems.

could use some prayer...

thanks

SILENCE!!!!

Oh how I wish I had some silence.

My mind never stops going, thinking of all sorts of things and people. I worry and I try to help...it's just what I do. So really I should be reminding myself that I can't do anything but pray and God will take care of the rest but...I REALLY WANT TO HELP! You know when either you have kids or babysitting and you are doing something important or in a hurry and the kid wants to help but you really have it all under control and they would only slow you down? Well I feel like the kid... begging to be able to help...but I know it will only slow down the process. I am really trying to let it be...I really am.

There is so much on my mind...I am so EXCITED that tomorrow is Friday because this week has been challenging in so many ways that I am ready for a break(I hope) many times this week I have found myself thinking this: "God, it's me again...Um, so I am dealing with this really big problem right now...and well I don't think you meant...well I mean are you sure...cause well I am not so sure you really meant this problem for me to handle... cause well...I CAN'T DO THIS....Is there another Jessica that you meant it for?" Then I get to laugh at myself for being so ridiculous knowing that God ABSOLUTELY meant it for me and knows I can't do it by myself and He was just waiting for the word to swoop in and save me.

I have been swooped up a few times this week...it has felt real good too. I keep getting reminded that I am not alone, I don't have to do it on my own, and that God is in control of my life and all I need to do is surrender.

David Crowder sings "You never let go, you never let go, you never let go" Which always brings a smile to my face...because no matter how many times I lost my grip and let go...He never did...and He never will.

=)